Dreaming about Venice

Aseara mi-am permis sa visez...si acum vreau sa visez din nou pentru 2 minute....porniti melodia,inchideti ochii si visati :)....asta am facut eu aseara vazand filmul "The tourist"....mi-am afundat nasul sub plapuma, mi-am asezat strategic un capuccino spumos pe noptiera, am stins lumina si am inceput sa visez....de mult nu am mai vazut un film cu atata drag, chiar daca urasc sa ma uit singura la filme...Nu stiu sa va spun daca este un film nemaipomenit dar e un film care iti merge direct la suflet...e Jonny Depp fermecator ca de obicei cu cat trebuie sa fie mai ponosit si mai banal, e Angelina pe care o ador care e parca mai frumoasa ca oricand....si e Venetia...ah!Filmul asta se filma acum un an exact in acele zile cand ma plimbam si eu pe aceleasi stradute inguste si incarcate de ceva special....si vazandu-le din nou m-a apucat un sentiment dulce-amarui de nostalgie, de dor.......filmul te poarta prin locurile glamour-oase ale Venetiei unde privirea nu are ocazia sa iti ajunga prea des.....

They say finding happiness is like finding yourself. You don't find happiness, you make happiness. You choose happiness. Self-actualization is a process of discovering who you are, who you want to be and paving the way to happiness by doing what brings YOU the most meaning and contentment to your life over the long run.Happiness is a goal for all of us, we all want to be happy, I never wished for anything else more sincerely when I blew the candles on my cake then for happiness...Still, it's not enough to wish to be happy, the most important part of being happy is figuring out when you are.We need to recognize it, acknowledge it when when we touch it...and sadely, we rarely do that...everybody is proud to discover that we make our own happiness but we lose ourselves in the process, wasting our time with false happiness...When patience is running out we tend to throw ourselves out there, and we create our own happy world....an empty world, a false world, a world that does not truly exist....we want to be saved so we grab those arms next to us, hoping those are the ones to make us happy...and we close our eyes and let ourselves flow in a whirlwind of false emotions, and most of the time, by the time we wake up, it's already too late.We realise we're lost and we need to start over, searching for the right path to happiness....we realise too late that those arms don;t belong to our hero,they we're not protecting you, they we're keeping you from reaching what you really want, that those kisses we're nothing but the beginning of the end,  that...that cute smile is nothing but what you think you saw.....and you're speechless, cause suddenly the whole world is falling apart and you don't even know where to start from recovering yourself....

Elvis Presley - Devil In Disguise
   
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And by the time we finally open our eyes, sometimes it's too late, sometimes we wake up in time to save what needs to be saved....which one is my case? I don't know, it's not my choice to make anymore :(....maybe it's too late, maybe I got caught in my own emotions and let what truly mattered slip away.....maybe,maybe, seems like it's the word I now use most often....so, people, be happy in the simple way, the true way, the safe way....and be happy with you eyes wide open!!!!!!!Jut take my advice and shut up :D

Forgive many things in others...nothing in yourself

Forgiveness is a funny thing...people have all kind of sweet ways to define it...some believe that is forgiveness which impedes that a "something" lost and then found to be lost again, some see it as a child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again....sounds so nice, but sometimes it's just so hard to find...too hard!I'm a forgiving type of person, yeah, I'm nice like that :D...I believe in redemption as much as I believe in sins...cause there's a fact that sins are like little friends who live among us waiting to stab us in the back...I forgave people with all my heart and I'm glad cause it makes me feel so free...NOW, someone tell me how do I get to forgive myself for my own sins...huh!That';s the hardest thing to do..."Forgive me dear for I have sinned" doesn't seem to work....neither does "What's done is done, there's nothing left to do"...a part of me, the very stubborn type cannot let go completely...cannot begin to understand some things as long as those things remain hidden in the past...Then again, bringing them into the light may put me in the same damn rollercoaster all over again...and here I stand again, same damn crossroads,same damn difficult decisions to make...I think I'm going to continue to beg for some more forgiveness, maybe some day I'll be good enough to forgive...myself!Cause I don't have the guts nor the heart to destroy perfect harmony of those around me in order to find myself an alibi for my sins....So, that's it, I'm the worst of the worst, I'm a badass, I'm a bitch...one with a lot of mistakes and secrets by the way....time will probably erase them eventualy so...let's hope for the best.My wish again is for everybody to find true hapiness...enjoy new beginnings, false true friends, and a beautiful sunrise every day ...and maybe one day we'll stare at the same sun together...or maybe not....

Leona Lewis - Run
   
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Iubim mult sau...bine?

Englezii zic asa I love you better than him. Concentrati-va putin pe cuvantul "better". Caci el presupune o evaluare calitativa. Noi zicem, laolalta cu alti latini, "eu te iubesc mai mult". Carevasazica, aprecierea e cantitativa.

Ce inseamna a iubi mai bine si ce inseamna a iubi mai mult?

A iubi mai bine inseamna a iubi lucid. A iubi sanatos, a sti ce iubesti, a vedea limpede. A face bine, a-l hrani pe celalalt, a-l sprijini, a-l ajuta sa creasca. E iubirea in zona ei de lumina, cea care ne toarna apa la radacini si ne umple de fructe mari, rosii, sanatoasa. E latura ei fara lanturi grele care rod pielea si lasa rani urate, de nearatat altora.
A iubi mai mult nu inseamna neaparat ca e si "bine". A iubi mai mult se scalda adeseori in zona de umbra, de obsesie. Avem impresia ca nutrim ceva, ca impreuna construim, dar nu avem curajul sa lasam lumina zilei sa intre acolo. E adevarat, simtim cu degetele si simturile o vegetatie complexa, cu frunze uriase si radacini contorsionate, dar nu ne vine sa o aratam si altora, o dosim in nopti lungite spre ziua si avem mereu nevoie de narcotice de tot felul ca sa o luam de la capat.

Iubirea "bine" e cea care se sustine singura. Nu are nevoie de carje, de scaune cu rotile si de internari la dezintoxicare. Se tine bine pe picioarele ei si isi arata chipul razator. Aerul in jur e plin de pasari si de cantece.
Iubirea "multa" nu e neaparat asa. Ea intra in competitii absurde si e schilodita mai mereu. Nu scapa cu fata curata din mai nimic. Se impleteste atat de des cu ura, cu respingerea si cu mila incat devine de neseparat de ele, surori bune intru aceeasi mistificare. Bineinteles ca asta nu inseamna ca lipsesc bunele intentii. Din contra. Fiecare ii doreste tot binele celuilalt. Dar le e doar organic imposibil sa contribuie la el. Hotarari sunt luate in fiecare zi si, pana seara, intreg esafodajul se prabuseste intr-un morman de frustrare si de neputinta.
Stiu ca am crescut cu gandul ca, daca iubesti, binele vine si curge pentru celalalt in valuri de nestavilit. Nu-i asa. Oamenii care se iubesc doar "mult", nu si "bine", se transforma in heroina pentru celalalt. Binele dureaza doar cat tine extazul, betia si lipsa ratiunii. Restul e doar vanatoare stearpa de naluci, intins de capcane pentru pretexte si gravarea unor scopuri marete. Si sevraje cand se incearca o separare. Sevraje cu pusee de fugit in bratele altora, de agatat de povesti care nu le apartin celor doi, de inlocuire a heroinei cu metadona. O valvataie mare, sustinuta artificial si nesincer. Dar iubire e, slava cerului, e. E multa si proasta.
Va mira? Va mira ca exista o asa alaturare? Cred ca e cel mai des intalnit soi. Nu vorbim mereu limba celuilalt. Nu avem mereu instrumentele potrivite. Si atunci apelam la limbajul semnelor. Numai ca, helas, multe scapa pe drum intre timp si acolo raman. Ite nedezlegate, fire nedescurcate care se intind pe kilometri si kilometri si niciunul nu are degetele indeajuns de agile incat sa le desfaca. Dar de iubit, ne iubim. Mult. 

La umbra iubirii celei "multe" nu creste nimic. E umbra nucului, loc bantuit de iele. Nu zic ca nu e seducatoare iubirea cea multa. Are chipul sulemenit, lenjerii de matase si se intampla sa aiba mese intinse cu bucate zemoase si moi, numai bune sa te infrupti. Dar si indigestia de a doua zi este la fel de sigura. Problema cea mai mare e impresia ca nu poti trai fara dureri si crampe, uitand ca umbli cu buzunarele doldora de analgezice. Si ca ramai cu chipul schimonosit mereu. 

Rihanna & Eminem - Love the way you lie pt. 2
   
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